Im not crazy im just a little unwell...

So I came to the conclusion last nightthat I need to give my all. I found that maybe its not what I expect or whatever. But it is what I should give. And thanks Amanda for teaching me life is short and to live it to its fullest. I found our "talk" to be much beneficial to my future.

Saturday night.
I'm more confused than I thought I ever could be. I thought I knew what I wanted and now I'm lost. I'm lost to what could be. I'm lost to what might be currently. It's like I almost have to make the decision right now. How do I feel? I turned a guy down tonight. And I'm not sure that I wanted to. But I told him I was seeing someone and I am. But am I? I don't like how it's going. I don't want to be that bed to sleep in. And I don't even know if I want someone now. Last night I remembered why I love being single. Not only the freedom but that non-judgementalness that comes with it. Who is to judge me when I'm living my life how I want when I want? What do I want? And why besides what I might want, am I in over my head? I mean that this point it seems like there's no turning back. Too much is at stake. So how do I decide? How do I make that judgement call? I'm lost to reason and thought. I wish it was easier. I find that maybe my predicament is from being unhappy. Unhappy as I was this time last year.

I'm unsatisfied. I feel like I won't get the job. And I know if I don't get it, it's cause I’m not right for it. I'm so stressed it makes me sick. I'm sick.

I'm hopeful despite my words. All the above was wrote the night before. I process my thoughts a little more clearly in the morning. But regardless, this is just another one of my posts of my ridiculous attitude. I have a horrid project to work on all day and I hate that. It's time to buckle down. Perogies anyone?

Personal thanks to all that helped make the Perogies. It was a great time.