The ass kicking is getting old

Random thoughts by the Duck:

• Eating is becoming a chore which is stupid cause I love to eat.
  
• I have almost working 40 hours in 3 days.  That does not count all the time I think about work at home and wake up in the middle of the night.
• I do not feel in the Christmas spirit this year.  It has to do with a lot of things.
• I love falling asleep on the couch but waking up and getting ready for bed blows.
• I love my Christmas decorations but I feel like I'm never around to enjoy them.
• I hate being jacked around.
• I hate getting up early to drive to work in the snow.
• But I love the snow.  Please snow in the mountains so I can board with glee in the powder.
  
• I'm really looking forward to New Years in Breckenridge.
• My Jeep's front end needs aligned.
• My feet are cold even though my house is warm.
• I love Chelsea Lately.  I look forward to watching her before I go to bed so I can have a few laughs and not stress about work.
• I really wanted to see Loni Love at the Denver Improv but I didn't have anyone to go with.
• My brother loves the Ultimate Pancake House but I am not sold.
• My niece is possibly the cutest thing ever.
• Julia is going to be a rock star.
• I like to look back at my horoscope for the month and hope things my turn around at some point for me.  Maybe my horoscope will say that and then I can believe in it.
  
• The fact that I almost missed getting tickets to U2 makes me INSANE.  Especially when all my other friends were gushing about their tickets.  Thanks Jay!
  
• I wish a friend from college and I could reconcile.  It will bother me for the rest of my life.
• I can't wait to go to Paris and London next year.
• If I ever get married, I want to get married in Barcelona. 
• I wish I could stop bothering with a certain person. 
  
• I really loved visiting the Big Cedar Lodge (pictures below).  One of those places you hope people don't learn about so it stays the way it is.  Like Capri, Italy.  That place was like the end of the world.
• Really value the people I work with everyday.  I'd never survive if they weren't there.  So when Andrew, Paula, Claire and Robin are all gone, things are HARD, like right now.
  
• I hate not being able to work out. 
• I hate love handles.  
• I'm going to visit my friend in Chicago next year.
  
• I haven't had candy since Halloween.  The last three days have been a nightmare without it. 
  
• I love that my oldest brother reads all of my tweets.
• I'm loving indoor volleyball at Inverness.
• They say it's a new year but 2010 is just a number. 
• I hate that a million people will now be crowding the gym with their ridiculous resolutions.  It's not going to last, leave the gym and go somewhere else.
• I need to go to a beach next year and lay on it with a drink for a WHILE.  ANY TAKERS...
• I love the song Replay.
• My sister-in-law Krista really cheered me up on Sunday.
• I wish I didn't have to go to work on my day off tomorrow.
• I hope I get to go to NY for the PBR.  I love NYC and watching bull riding.
  
• Looking forward to midnight mass tomorrow.
• Thankful for my family and friends during this crazy, rough time.
• Mad that it's almost 9!!!  Damn.  Work in like 10 hours.  F!
• Dang, need to think about my strategy for repainting my office!!!
  

Big Cedar

 

 

Merry Christmas!

High point, Low point

High point: Old veteran guy at the airport said "I knew I'd see nice girls here" after looking at me and Carly.
Low point: Screwed up at work again.
High point: Swag.
Low point: The Retailer.
High point: Having a moment to not stress and enjoy a hockey game.
Low point: Last straw at my efforts to convince.
High point: Hyatt at the Arch
Low point: Being late.
High point: Almost vacation.
Low point: Everything still sucks.

Happy Holidays.

WTF

Beware reader: this is going to be a really upset and ridiculous post.

Dear World,

CAN I JUST SAY WTF?  Like what is with you making my life a living hell in every possible way.  The only person NOW I haven't pissed off is my mom.  Give it time, I know, sure thing.  I see her in a few days so I'm sure something is bound to fly out of my mouth.  And is there any hope for recourse on anything?  Now, now, things are just sour.  Friend gets fired, a nightmare of mistakes and stress everyday, screw up with my BFF, obviously realize my efforts with someone else are WASTED, no one has the faith in my anyways, guilt trip, kicked in face, crappy appetite, no sleep... NO FREAKING BREAK.  You know what I get so damn sick of?  Everyone else that has it good.  You don't realize how good you have it, think about it.  Where as, I work all of the time, it seems like I do nothing else.  And the fun, I attempt to have?  Yeah, I get disregarded.  I don't have anything in me left for anything.  I try, I attempt to charm, I attempt at anything and I fail miserably.  ANY WAY.  For those of you actually wasting your time reading my continuous garbage, I apologize, you really have not learned anything about me and actually may pity me.  Do me a favor, if you talk to me, try to give me a break, I'm doing all I can to do the right thing and say the right thing but really I'm about to lose it.  I'm about to lose all the things that are keeping me together and at this f ing point, I don't know what those things are.

WTF WORLD!  Give me a break!!!!

SO DONE,
Kristin

You are a big fat liar

Dear December Leo Horoscope,

You are a liar.

Love,

Kristin

My feet are cold and it is after 2 am.

So I will start with this may be a bad idea.  I should not be updating at this time in the night on the off chance I may say something really stupid.  But here it goes... 

The one thing I've been able to be successful at above all, I have now put in jeopardy.  I thought I could do what I should and now I'm not sure that is the case.  I have caused those that believe in me to question me and assume the worst.  I guess I should play the cards I have been dealt (or dealt myself).  I guess I should own up to the decisions I have made because when you hit my age there is no longer an excuse.  If I were to have an excuse, my excuse would be that I should be able to do anything.  My excuse is that if I believe in myself, it doesn't matter what my barriers are, I can do it.  But, maybe I can't.  Maybe, my hope will never come true.  But then possibly, a week from now I won't lose sleep on the things that have occured.  Maybe a week from now, I'll look forward to my vacation and wonder how that new color for my home office will look.  On a side note, for the record, I'm only painting my office cause I had some ridiculous dream about it. 

But let me get to the purpose of why I'm here.  I need your help.  I need you to pray to whoever you think makes a difference in your life and ask them to help me.  I need help to get through this time.  I need help to get through this time when I have overestimated the person, the woman, I thought I was and/or am.  I need some higher being, or God, or whatever you believe in, to help me through this tough time.  I thought it was hard to live with a broken heart.  I would rather live with a broken heart then what I may have broke at this point.  Love will come back to me when it's right.

Forgive me for making the selfish decision I did.  Forgive me for being childish.  Forgive me for thinking about right now in hopes for tomorrow.  In hope, for me.  Forgive me for being so ridiculous.  But that look doesn't lie, even if all it is, is for a second.  It doesn't lie and I will welcome that stomach jump feel for I haven't that in so long.  Look at me and make me smile.  It doesn't take much.

Pray for me.

How fast can a Porshe go?

Christmas will be here in no time.  I kind of feel like it's going to be here before I can really fully prepare.  Now, prepare might not be the right word.  I just can't believe tomorrow is December 3rd.  Haven't finished my Christmas decorating.  I still have a good portion of Christmas shopping.  Ughhhhh...  That reminds me Jill's birthday is coming up and so is my sister-in-law's!  But back to the fact it's freaking Dec 3???  I don't know, the past month or so, I feel like just flew by for the better or worse of it.  All the sudden it's Thursday this week and then it will be the weekend.  Then I'll be out of town then I have a Christmas party... blah blah blah.  Like where is the time going.  I know I always say that but really, right now, I feel like I'm in the back seat of a Porsche going 120 miles an hour watching my life go buh bye.  Maybe more like 180 miles per hour.  Is that possible in a Porsche?  My cube mate would kill me for not knowing that.  But really, do you ever feel like you are just sitting back and watching your life fly by?  I know, I know, I sound like my parents or something.  I look back on the past month and it kind of series of replays like a movie in fast forward.  Oh it was November and I went to Vegas... then I got my hair done, um... then I went to Atlanta and then it was Thanksgiving and now it's freaking December.  All I take from November is working then some plane rides and then some food.  Lol.  That may sound sad but that is my life!  I would like it if I got a second to breathe but I don't think that is coming anytime soon.  New responsibility at work as me tapped beyond belief.  Scary but love it.  Yes, I'm sick. 

Any who.  I need to get in the driver seat of this Porsche and tear some shit up!  Wish me luck.