So my first comment goes to all those who COMMENTED that they read. I appreciate it. I just need a little reinforcement sometimes. Even though my brothers haven't commented that they read (I'm not bitter, REALLY).

The week is over with and I'm about to dive into a hectic school week.

Any ways. You know new people can definitely change the vibe of your friends. Sometimes it leaves me with the question of is it worth it? Are am I making the right decision? Why can't your friends just "understand" and not fight about circumstances and emotions? Why can't we all just get along? But those questions are easy to answer. Your friends can't just "understand." They have their own opinions. And the second question, it wouldn't be realistic if we all got along. "There would be no compassion without suffering." Or so it goes something like that. Sometimes I feel the need (well a lot) to be on my own and left alone. I have urges to find activities I can do or places I can be without interruption. Sometimes I don't feel like I need to warrant an explanation to anyone that asks. Can I just feel what I want and that be the end of it? And can I just have discriminative free advice and support?

Ok, now onto the topic of what's been eating at me. TIME. PEOPLE. PLACES. Hahahaha no I'm kidding but really, there is not enough time in the world. Today I volunteered at the Sustainable Living Fair. Over a beer with a complete stranger (another volunteer and yes Amanda I drank a beer, I know, I know) I realized I think I spend too much of my time trying to figure out my future. But honest to God truth is, I can't help it. I can't help that I need to know what I'm doing. I can't help it that I can't live with "whatever happens."

I'm going to church tonight. I feel I can get solitude and direction from being there. It's selfish of course why I go. I just want to feel better about myself and learn what I can do to be a better person. It's hard that most of my friends don't attend church (I still love you no matter what!). But sometimes I just would like someone there to sit with me, to sing with me and to pray with me (I did have someone but she is in Australia right now!). I would sometimes like to join a bible study but my time is so limited, I barely have time to sleep. Any advice? Eh. I just need a little reassurance or guidance sometimes(or a lot of the time).

By the way, my team is 0-3. I am not impressed by CSU's ability to lose games. CAN'T THEY JUST WIN ONE GAME BEFORE I GRADUATE!!???