That what happens. I update too much then I don't want to again ever. But I'm here, need to feed the addiction. I decided tonight's post is going to be about a couple specific things.

1. Men: Here I am annoyed. Someone ever tell you how much they mean to you then completely shift gears. I don't get it. And honestly, I don't know why it annoys me so much. Because I decided it wasn't for me. I decided things weren't right. But I guess being put aside might make you feel this way. I guess being "forgot" about will aggravate you. However, why does it bother me so much. Maybe because I thought I could trust what this person told me. It just makes me wonder what other lies I have been told. Friends. Relationships. The past. Quite a complicated mix.
2. Men (again): I am on my way to making a fool out of myself. And why? Because I like a guy and as always I can't have him. It is the first person I can say that I wish I had done things differently with. I don't say that about anything. But this guy I do. I wish we had been better friends while we had the opportunity. I wish I had been there for him through his hard times. I wish I had told him when I had the opportunity that I liked him a lot. But like the fool I am and am continuing to be, I didn't. Sometimes I think about what if I was that girl, that girl he's got. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to see him everyday. Maybe I'm just a dreamer. Or maybe I'm just a fool for that romantic fantasy of what love really isn't. Whatever is it, it's unhealthly!
3. Not Men: I got my palm read by a drunk gay friend this weekend (for free, cmon now). Nothing too exciting to share. But Amanda got hers read and he said we are going to have a riff. And we won't be friends after that. I know you can't believe stuff like that. But you can't help but be scared. The last thing I want to do is loose someone that has been unconditional to me as a friend. I'm lucky. So I'll be praying tonight and everynight that we will be okay.

You know this post was a whole bunch of complaining about men. Being hurt and being in "like." It's stupid. What will be will be. And that's the end of my story.