I'm not sure what's compelled me to come to my blog after all of these years. I feel like I owe an update but I really want to spend time here talking about food and exercise moving forward. I'd also like to spend some time (just today) discussing letting go of something that's been holding me back.
First I'll begin with letting go. At the beginning of April, I went to a leadership conference in North Carolina and met some really wonderful women. One thing that came up was my holding on to a bad experience I had when I left one of my old companies. I felt like I broke up with the company and I felt like I was betrayed. After spending about 7 years there and having all the support in the world, all the sudden my boss and leaders at the time didn't believe in me. To be far, they didn't seem to be supportive of anyone. I stayed 1 1/2 years after trying to "fix" myself. But I didn't change. I felt betrayed. I had given myself to company. Now that write this, I have to laugh. How did I become to tied to a COMPANY. My career was everything. Maybe this was why I chose the wrong guys then (I'm sure my mom would agree)?
Any way, fast forward to North Carolina where I met a very inspirational women named Teresa. I told her a little about my story. She was very familiar with my industry and laughed (in a sweet and understanding way). She identified with me. She also laughed and said, "Girl, you have got to let that stuff go!". I laughed. She was right. It's been 2 1/2 years and I'm still holding on to nothing that did me good. Those people that hurt me are not even there anymore! And ultimately, I know my worth. It's why I'm in the job I'm in today. So as I step forward in my career and life, I let go. I'm letting go. I'm a different person now to. I don't want to be the person I was. I don't want to give my soul to a company. I also will not allow a few random jerks to define my worth in the workplace. And I will not view their dislike towards me as a setback. You can't please everyone so stop trying. I'm here to tell you!
Now on to the boring part, food and exercise. It's interesting, opening up my blog and reading past entries. I have to admit, I sound a bit crazy haha. But I do miss the passion I had and the experience I was getting with running. I look back and know that running was a solution to a failed (or many) relationship. Today, I look at it as a nice time to spend time with my dog and clear my head. It's a nice time for me to destress about life and work. There is something so personal about running that's hard to describe. I don't just like running for the benefits, I like running because it's all ME.
So today, I deal with a bum knee that is getting better daily. Apparently I have some inflammation syndrome. Silly stuff! And as much as I'd love to run another marathon, I don't think it's in the cards for me. The time commitment is overwhelming especially because I travel for work and because I don't want to be away from Skyler. And then the body commitment, it is not really healthy for most to run that long of distances. Just not great on your joints. Also, given all my knee pain, Skyler would probably kill me if I tried! Moving forward, I'm going to work to improve any way I can. Exercise is crucial to my well-being and running has to be apart of it.
And food. Oh food how I love thee. Vacation, for whatever reason, was a big realization for both Skyler and I. We have gained enough weight that we are now no longer comfortable. I mean, I haven't been comfortable for a few years now but Skyler made me feel okay so I continued to try but I didn't always give it my all. Making food an emotional outlet was so easy to do. Making food a comfort was also so easy. It's also a great pastime with Skyler (I'm talking booze too just to be clear). But enough is enough. Making a change seems easier now but day by day, it is literally the most difficult part of my day. How crazy is that! Choosing a healthy lifestyle feels impossible in a lot of ways. But it's possible. Day 2 is today. We are going to do this. We have to do this! I plan to document our progress here.
In other news, I'm still love with Skyler, the dog still rules and our house is epic. Life is good people and I have never been happier and more excited for what the future will bring.
No comments:
Post a Comment