I'm reminded today that life is a journey, not a destination. That's something I shared with my mom recently and her response was, "you are always teaching me daughter."
Weight loss is not a destination and I need to stop thinking of it that way. I'm not just going to easily (and happily) get my "goal" weight and the world with be right again. It just isn't how that works anymore. Side note, if you think you know everything about being healthy and fit then exit my blog because I don't need that energy here. I need support, not people who want to shove their thoughts and opinions in my face. Sorry back on topic... There is no reason for me to believe this weight problem won't be a problem the rest of my life. I guess I just need to figure out what is the new routine and balance for myself AND my relationship. I can easily go at it alone but that is no fun and not supportive of my relationship, my partnership with Skyler. I need to start thinking about my lifestyle as just that, a lifestyle and not a destination to lose weight.
Yesterday Skyler and I had a discussion on how I'm as much to blame for our weight loss as he is. Now the conversation was more friendly then that but he was right. He said some of the things I like to eat are a problem. The same could definitely be said for him. I will not lie. I love my Mexican food and am not going to just give that up for the rest of my life to have a smaller ass. But, I do need to be more strategic about my food choices the majority of the time. I need to think about how what we eat effects Skyler. And Skyler needs to think about how his decisions effect me as well.
Since I've started my focus on losing weight, I've lost 4 pounds in 1.5 weeks. YAY me! This is a great start! But what worries me is we are heading into a holiday weekend with multiple friends. Not only will we be partying all the time but food choices will be limited. I'm trying to plan ahead. I'm trying to think through what exactly I should and want to eat. Exercise is not the solution to eating poorly but it doesn't hurt so I'm trying to determine when can I work out. How do I tackle this weekend without ruining my weekend and progress thus far. I've started packing. Going to pack a lot of snacks so I can spend more time munching on healthy things then not. There will be at least 2 meals I'm going to just go for it (cheat meal) because life is short and I have to find balance. But the rest of the time, I can control this. I will do it! Yesterday proved I can do this.
Yesterday we had dinner with friends at our favorite pizza joint. My boyfriend, who has already lost 5 pounds, went ahead and moderately had a cheat meal while I sat with my salmon salad. Never did I quite understand how much food could be an emotional thing for me. I felt so punished. I couldn't have my favorite beer. I couldn't have my favorite pizza. Never did I realize I looked at food as a way to make me feel rewarded. I am awesome and work hard to have the life I do so I should reward myself with food! Wait... no? Those that eat well would say, "Don't you want to reward yourself through good food that fuels you..." and all that bullshit. Haha don't get me wrong, all you healthy, perfect eaters out there are great and I wish I was you. But I'm not and I'm also not going to let my life be controlled by how perfect my body needs to look. At the end of the day, I'm always going to have love handles and a big booty. I'm not going to have super skinny legs. And all that is OKAY. I have strong legs, shoulder and decent arms. I vow to work on loving my body more and its imperfections. We, as women, are so hard on ourselves that we do more harm them good (most of the time). Women are also very hard on other women. Ladies, I challenge you, don't judge your friends, you don't know their struggle. Be supportive of each other. If we are ever going to move up on the food chain in this world, it's going to be through support not competition or judging.
In ending, I remind you and myself that change happens only if we want it to. Judgement is for the birds. And happiness is not driven by a perfect body. Happiness comes from having a full life!
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